[Image Source] |
[Image source] |
As I said, I like the Blind Dead series, but they're the kind of movies I'll put on mute and watch as I listen to a band like Moss. It's not the kind of thing that warrants repeat viewings, not with the sound on anyway. The problems with the series are numerous but I'll try my best to narrow them down to the major few. 1). Poor Acting. I hate to point the finger here, but the reactions and line delivery leave a lot of to be desired and undermines the carefully built-up horrific atmosphere. 2). Limited Visual Vocabulary from the Director. This situation improved as the series went on, but those first two films (again see below) are all medium or full shots, no matter what the situation. It keeps the audience at a distance, reducing the viewer to spectator, rather than participant. 3). Sloppy and / or Awkward Editing. The series is plagued by sloppy editing. Once again, the first film is atrocious with this but there's an obvious jump cut in the middle of an early scene in Ghost Galleon that just feels amateurish and sets an awkward tone (but increases its 'guilt' appeal!) 4). Special Effects that Aren't So Special. Guns that don't actually fire. Miniatures that fail to capture the minutiae of their larger studies. Fog that just sits there. The list of examples is long and tedious. One of the things that makes the Blind Dead creatures so cool and creepy is their stiff, shambling gait. Watching them engage in sword fights is far less inspiring than having them gouge eyeballs with their bony fingers and tear limbs slowly asunder with unnatural strength.
This franchise is due for a re-make.
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If you're going to re-make an existing property, why not re-make the Blind Dead series?
I got that same thrill when I was doing an image search for this post as when I first discovered the series. Seeing the Blind Dead in all their dusty, bony glory I'm reminded that the ENTIRE appeal for this series rests in their appearance (that and the boobs) and the atmosphere surrounding them. The way they move on screen and interact is sometimes lame, the staging and composition are disappointing at times, but the threat that, at any moment some real scares might break out looms over every frame of this series because the Templars are cheesy and unembellished enough to actually be creepy. Any producer / director / writer teams out there willing to take on this project would have a wide field to play in because the details of the stories are not sacrosanct. If nothing else, you've got a built in quadrilogy, and studios love endless sequels.
If put into the hands of the right creative team, who takes the good elements of the series (the emergence from the tombs; the thick layers of atmosphere; the unforgettable image of the corpses riding on horseback; the inhuman look and stiffness of the Templars), it could be a kind of redemption for Hollywood's re-make mania. But it almost certainly wouldn't fall into the right hands. The project would go to another TV commercial / huge budget music video director whose entire oeuvre involves flash and no substance. Still, it would be something many frustrated moviegoers have been clamoring for: something different. And anyway, screw Hollywood, let's put on our imagination hats for a minute and place Stuart Gordon in the director's chair, backed by the same Spanish producers who helped him to make Dagon. Who's with me?
"I am!" |
WATCH TOMBS OF THE BLIND DEAD:
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